Normally, I share with you articles or blog posts that I find informative or that say something I have tried to say in a new and better way. Today, I am sharing a blog post that I really disagreed with.
The author doesn’t really tell us a lot about herself other than “This is a tale of our journey about climbing out of debt by tightening our money belt, letting go of the idealities of a consumeristic society, and finding what it means to live a great frugal life.” Well good for her, I can have no argument with that.
The post I disagree with is Adult Children Living at Home – 5 Reasons to Live with your Parents Longer.
Here are some of Money Funk’s reasons for staying in your parent’s home and why they make me crazy:
Can you really afford a home that offers all the amenities and features you have come to rely upon?
HUGE RED FLAG If you have this attitude or are have encouraged this attitude in your children; STOP and think while there is still time. This attitude of entitlement may be the single most common denominator in people who fail to win with their money. It is no surprise that your parents can (after 20+ years of work) afford to live better than you can. You are not entitled to what they have. Do I really expect you as a young adult to live in a tiny dumpy apartment and drive an old crappy car? If that is what you can afford on your starter salary, then not only do I expect that, I expect you to do it joyfully. Take great pride in your ability to do it – all by yourself.
Maintain relationships with your parents and anybody else (siblings, extended family) living in the home.
Independence does not need to weaken relationships. Healthy parent-child relations do grow and the day an adult child’s becomes completely self–reliant is a remarkable milestone in this evolution. Not living in the same home is no reason for a loss of intimacy. Many adult children speak to their parents frequently. They are as interested and involved in their parents lives as their parents’ are in theirs.
Focus on advancing your career or education
I am good with the education thing. For many college age kids living away from home in a dorm is an important component of the maturation process. However, for some kids living at home while attending college is a better fit for their personality or financial situation.
The idea of staying in your parents home so you can focus on advancing your career is a bit harder for me to embrace. My thinking is the minute you are making enough money to be self reliant, you should want to stand on your own. Someday you will need to manage your career AND do your own laundry. You might as well start today.
Is it ever ok to move back home?
Of course it is. Family is all about being there for each other. In times of illness or job loss or transition, it is comforting to know you can always go home. I love my parents. I know I could always go home and they would do everything in their power to make things right so that I could be independent again. I love my son and he is always welcome in our home. Someday, I may need his help in a big way or he may need mine. As independent adults, I know we are both willing and able to handle the responsibility that comes from loving someone.
Maybe it is time to have the discussion in your house. When is it ok for adult children to move home?