What I really want to do is ….get out of this town, this job, this debt….but
I heard this twice today, not that much different from any other day, except today it was from two different, very bright 30 somethings. Really? You’ve got the world by the tail and you’re letting that stop you?
As much as I’m blown away by people who actually do the work to get what they want, I’m saddened by the majority that just can’t commit.
I suspect in most cases the real problem isn’t the inability or an unwillingness to do the work, it’s the failure to clearly see the dream.
“What I really want” is too lightly spoken and in the heart of the speaker, they know it. It is not what they really want; it is something, anything to distract them from where they are right now.
Like most of us, they have no clue what they really want. They only know that they are not satisfied with what they have.
On the surface, it would seem easy to answer the questions:
What do I (we) want?
What is most important to me (us)?
Is the way we live in alignment with the first two answers?
but it’s not.
It takes a lot of time and effort to discover what is important to us- it’s world’s easier to let the marketers tell us what we want.
Start with why. Why do you want out of that job or that debt? Why did you get in?
If you are thinking, If Only, about your situation, your not looking deep enough. If only I had a better job, more money, less debt, could wear my skinny jeans, etc.- life would be grand. Bullshit. Someday, you are going to find yourself in your dream job with disposable income and a completely new list of If Onlys.
Continue on to examining where you are. What works and what doesn’t work about your current situation? What can you do to fix the part that doesn’t work?
Do this with the knowledge that the pull is always strongest to stay where you are. No matter how uncomfortable, unreasonable and future-killing your present situation; you will be compelled to find a bazillion reasons you cannot change it, at least not now – right up until you get the urge to bolt.
Don’t Bolt. Our first reaction when we have finally had enough but don’t want to ask the hard questions of ourselves is to bolt, to quit, to walk away without a plan.
Not smart. Sit with it. If leaving is the right thing, leave to go somewhere better. Leave with a much clearer picture of who you are and what you want.