Keeping up appearances is one of the reasons people get into, and stay in debt – they are living beyond their means. Dave Ramsey says, “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.”
You have probably spent your whole life learning this “need” to impress, and it is surprisingly difficult to change.
I see two year olds sporting Nike and Ralph Lauren; so if a good part of your decision making involves what others might think, let’s get the blame thing out of the way. It is your parents’ fault (just kidding, Mom). Now let’s start looking for ways to change this.
We have been proudly on our “austerity” program for some time as we worked to pay off our debt, build our emergency fund, and finally pay off our house. We’ve been killing it, living on a tiny percentage of our income and very happy doing it. We do not feel restricted or deprived. Many of our friends and family know what we are doing and although they sometimes poke a little fun, they are for the most part very supportive.
So given this and the fact that I think I’m way past spending money to impress others, what was up with my GT soda explanation? We recently had some family over for dinner including a favorite aunt and uncle that I don’t often get a chance to see. As I served our guests refreshments, I found myself giving a lengthy explanation of my Aldi (discount groceries) brand diet cola. I do believe I was a little embarrassed to be offering an off-brand soda to people I care about.
How silly is that? These people have known me all my life, I’m certain whatever they think about me would not have changed based on the brand of a cola.
It’s an important to be aware how much this concern of what others might think controls our decision making. Before last night I would have said none, but apparently the real answer is some.
If you find yourself at the car lot because your car isn’t new a enough or nice enough for your friends – STOP. What do you think? What financial goal are you currently working on? Will a new, or new to you, car advance or setback that goal ?
The objective is not to take all emotion out of decision making but to create an internal dialog where we catch ourselves before making choices that conflict with our goals.
Build yourself a list of the thoughts that trip you up and check your thinking before making choices.
“Self, I’ve noticed that you still tend to make some decisions based not on what will lead you to your goal, but based on what others think. Is this one of those decisions?”
“Self, Seems like sometimes what you really, really want today – you lose interest in by next week. Is this one of those decisions?”
So easy peasy, now that we know you’re predisposed to want things to impress others (that’s your parents’ fault remember), all you have to do is be on the outlook for choices that don’t move your goals forward. Question your choices and rethink these stinking thinking decisions; you’ll be richer for it.