2011 – Page 10 – Beyond Dave

Bad Dog

Quick, you’re in a dark alley in an unfamiliar part of town. Which would you rather meet up with, five yapping Chihuahuas or one big, mean pit bull?

Me? I know I can deal with the yappers. They definitely can aggravate with their incessant barking and they might even nip; but they can’t eat me.

Welcome to debt consolidation. This is where you take all your little aggravating debts and create one big monster. You might even put the big vicious thing on steroids by consolidating all your debts into your home equity line.

DON’T DO IT.

This is what people do when they can’t stand to listen to the yappers one more second. If you’re here, unplug the phone and find a way to get a quiet moment to think.

You cannot borrow your way out of debt. No way, no how, it will not happen. If a consolidation lowers your monthly payment, it does it by stretching out the term. You will be in debt LONGER and it will cost you MORE- even if the interest rate is lower.

I have read many articles by so-called money experts that advise taking out a home equity loan to pay off credit card debt. YIKES! This advice is so bad I have to believe they are getting kickbacks from the credit card companies. Thankfully, these loans have become much harder to get. Can you think of anything more stupid than to risk your home for the shoes, TV, or dinners that you bought with your Visa?

If you are so sick and tired of carrying your debt; that the late-night TV promises of the debt consolidators are starting to sound tempting, what should you do?

1. Know you are not alone. I can’t say it was smart to get into this position but at least you are in good company.

2. STOP borrowing. Cut up the cards; freeze them in a block of ice; do NOT carry them in your wallet under any circumstances.

3. Make a rational and reasonable plan to live on less than you make and start paying off the debt.

You knew all along that it would take discipline, commitment and hard work to get out of debt. It was only when you were tired and alone and ashamed that you wanted to believe the to0-good-to-be-true promises of the debt consolidators.

5 Ways to use your Money to Ruin your Relationships

Hide spending, income or debt from your significant other
Give the kids everything they want or might want someday
Co-sign a loan for anyone you care about
Loan money to someone you love
Wait to be happy until– (you’re out of debt, you’ve saved enough, you make more etc.)

Even Snake Charmers get Bit

I’m a Dave Ramsey follower, a fan, a true believer. I have no doubt that his simple personal financial process changes lives. I know it has changed mine.

It works whether you make 24K or 240K a year. It works if you are deep in credit card debt or if you’ve never borrowed a dime.

But even I can occasionally get the But Dave’s. If you’ve ever listened to his radio show, you’ve heard the But Dave’s. People call in and say I get the process and I agree – BUT. They think their situation, intelligence or self-control is so different than everyone else’s; they should be given a pass on some Dave principal.

One of the most common But Dave questions involves the use of credit cards. Dave is very clear–you should NEVER use a credit card. He refers to credit cards as snakes and warns if you play with snakes you’re going to get bit.

But Dave, I pay it off every month.

This is where I was when we started Dave’s program. We had debt but not credit card debt. I was however, always living on next month’s paycheck. I lived on my American Express, put most of my recurring bills on it and then sent them a huge piece of my paycheck the 1^st of every month.

Getting off this cycle was not easy but it helped a lot.

Once I quit using the card, I had control again of my check. I could plan what to do with the money rather than react to what I had already done.

I spent less. It’s a proven fact you spend more when using a credit card.

While I quit using my cards for personal use, I continued using my American Express for reimbursable business expenses. From software, to continuing education classes for the employees, to computers and client gifts; as a key decision maker at a very busy insurance agency, my card got used a lot. It was convenient, it was easy, and above all it was stupid.

When the owners of the agency and I agreed to part ways, it was not easy or comfortable. They were angry and insulted that I had refused their new contract and yet, they asked me to stay through the end of the year. I agreed not wanting to hurt the agency or the employees. For six weeks, our relationship deteriorated. On my last day, having completed all I promised, I left without a reimbursement check.

My reimbursement was paid. But it wasn’t be until my blood pressure maxed out and the “boys” demonstrated to their own satisfaction their absolute power.

What did I learn?

It is stupid, expensive, risky and unnecessary to use credit cards. If you can’t pay for it, wait until you can.

It is light-years beyond stupid to use your credit card for someone else’s stuff. If your employer can’t find a way to pay for their own stuff AND your travel expense without using your credit – start looking for a new job.

Appearances

Keeping up appearances is one of the reasons people get into, and stay in debt – they are living beyond their means. Dave Ramsey says, “We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.”

You have probably spent your whole life learning this “need” to impress, and it is surprisingly difficult to change.

I see two year olds sporting Nike and Ralph Lauren; so if a good part of your decision making involves what others might think, let’s get the blame thing out of the way. It is your parents’ fault (just kidding, Mom). Now let’s start looking for ways to change this.

We have been proudly on our “austerity” program for some time as we worked to pay off our debt, build our emergency fund, and finally pay off our house. We’ve been killing it, living on a tiny percentage of our income and very happy doing it. We do not feel restricted or deprived. Many of our friends and family know what we are doing and although they sometimes poke a little fun, they are for the most part very supportive.

So given this and the fact that I think I’m way past spending money to impress others, what was up with my GT soda explanation? We recently had some family over for dinner including a favorite aunt and uncle that I don’t often get a chance to see. As I served our guests refreshments, I found myself giving a lengthy explanation of my Aldi (discount groceries) brand diet cola. I do believe I was a little embarrassed to be offering an off-brand soda to people I care about.

How silly is that? These people have known me all my life, I’m certain whatever they think about me would not have changed based on the brand of a cola.

It’s an important to be aware how much this concern of what others might think controls our decision making. Before last night I would have said none, but apparently the real answer is some.

If you find yourself at the car lot because your car isn’t new a enough or nice enough for your friends – STOP. What do you think? What financial goal are you currently working on? Will a new, or new to you, car advance or setback that goal ?

The objective is not to take all emotion out of decision making but to create an internal dialog where we catch ourselves before making choices that conflict with our goals.

Build yourself a list of the thoughts that trip you up and check your thinking before making choices.

“Self, I’ve noticed that you still tend to make some decisions based not on what will lead you to your goal, but based on what others think. Is this one of those decisions?”

“Self, Seems like sometimes what you really, really want today – you lose interest in by next week. Is this one of those decisions?”

So easy peasy, now that we know you’re predisposed to want things to impress others (that’s your parents’ fault remember), all you have to do is be on the outlook for choices that don’t move your goals forward. Question your choices and rethink these stinking thinking decisions; you’ll be richer for it.