What we need here is an Epiphany

When you were seven you said “Please” and “Thank you” and “Yum, these are the best beets I’ve ever had” to your Grandma – not because you meant it, nor because Grandma’s feelings were important to you; you did it because you were told to.

And somewhere along the growth chart you (hopefully) started  internalizing those behaviors. You began to understand that kindness and manners are a display of respect and consideration for others. You learned that others mattered. But until you got to this level of understanding, you faked it.

Faking it is a perfectly acceptable way to learn wanted behaviors.

An epiphany is the opposite of faking it.

With an epiphany:

The 350 lb woman who, after years of battling the health problems caused by her weight, has an experience that causes  a sudden intuitive leap of understanding that allows her to find the motivation to lose the weight.


The smoker who, for 25 years, ignores the pleas of their parents, their spouse and their children continuing to smoke until one day something said in an ordinary conversation causes a sudden intuitive leap of understanding, and they quit.


The family that happily bounces along acquiring debt and not saving until some ordinary but striking occurrence causes them to realize this is not smart.

You want to be healthy and you want your family to be financially secure; but you just can’t seem to have that ordinary but striking event to bring about a sudden intuitive leap of understanding.

It’s OK. Just fake it. You already know what to do. Eat right, exercise more, live on less than you make. Even without your epiphany, you may find your happiness.